i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
