Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
