I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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