now i know why i became what i already was.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
