Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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