My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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