Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
