It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
