YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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