She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
