You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
