wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
