whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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