I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
