Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
