Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
