I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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