Sry I called you an 8
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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