She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
