You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said âEat Freshâ while his GF was with him. FML
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