Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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