no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
