We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
this hospital has no fireball
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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