Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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