Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
