Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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