Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
