what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My apartment stinks of burning failure
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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