we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
