I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
