two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
