8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
