I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
