dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
