You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
