I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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