I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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