I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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