i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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