I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
