You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
