lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
