i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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