seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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