Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
