sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize