Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
