yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
