she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
MIDGETS
????
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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