you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
