So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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