i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
