is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
