Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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