I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
