Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
