Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
