And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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