She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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