Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize