I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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