He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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