When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
