I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
