walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
