Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
