This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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