he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
